ugh.

I started giving weekly art lessons to a "chronically ill" 13 year old girl. I don't know how she is "chronically ill", but I do know she is sweet, optimistic, and talented. I was really nervous that she wouldn't like me, she'd be bratty, or we'd have nothing to talk about, but the first lesson went well. I don't remember how I was as a 13 year old, but I'm pretty sure I was a little snot. She's so positive and excited about everything. She was telling me about how they were moving in the summer to live with her aunt and I asked her if she was sad about leaving all her friends. She said, "sometimes change is good". I think at 13 I was too busy over plucking my eyebrows or writing KP on my Jansport in white out only to ask my parents to buy me a new one because I didn't like my purple one anymore. It's crazy to compare myself to her (at age 13 and even now) and see how much I took/take things for granted. She is so grateful for EVERYTHING. This makes me want to buy her EVERYTHING. She's also learning how to play piano and the organization let her borrow an electric keyboard to practice on. She says she has to give it back soon, but she's going to save up money to buy a new one. Growing up, I don't think I ever saved up money to buy anything. My parents just bought me pretty much whatever I asked for. I think volunteering helps me see things differently, but at the end of the day, I'm still a pretty selfish and shitty person. I just bought myself a new lipstick even though I have 20.

I know this isn't something I can change about myself overnight, but "sometimes change is good" so I might as well start trying.